Addiction Treatment Centers » How to Conquer Your Addiction - A Powerful Technique that Worked For Me

How to Conquer Your Addiction - A Powerful Technique that Worked For Me

Conquering an addiction can be a bit deceptive. The problem is that we have conditioned ourselves to look for incremental progress when it comes to personal growth. What does that mean? Let me give you an example.

Conquering addiction
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Take weight loss. If you make a decision to lose weight, you might start an exercise program, and then make a concerted effort to not eat certain foods. You might step on the scale each morning and start to see the results of your efforts. These results are incremental, and progress is relatively slow. Perhaps you will lose a pound every few days, but then slip up on the weekend and eat some unhealthy food that you weren’t planning on. So there is a slight slip in your progress, but overall, you continue to make incremental steps towards your goal of losing weight.

Another example might be with losing your temper. Say you have a coworker who typically enrages you. So you make a conscious effort to maintain a calm demeanor and general goodwill towards this individual. You might do well with these efforts on most days, but occasionally find yourself getting upset with the person anyway. You’ve made progress, but there are still some trouble spots with this issue.

So much of personal growth–and indeed life itself–seems to operate this way. Nobody expects us to be perfect. We do not demand perfection of each other. We are usually happy to see incremental progress towards our goals.

But conquering addictions does require perfection. Abstinence from drugs and alcohol is the whole key….it is the prerequisite to a life of successful recovery. We must not use drugs or alcohol, period.

Abstinence is a perfection. That means that when you are abstaining from drugs and alcohol, you are abstaining one hundred percent. There is no room for error. Nothing must slip through the cracks here. Abstinence is a perfection. You must abstain perfectly in order to succeed. This might be obvious, but I noticed that it was not heavily emphasized in early recovery.

Conquering addiction
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When I first came to recovery, I was a bit confused by this apparent lack of emphasis on abstinence. There seemed to be a number of other things that I was supposed to focus on in order to start working a recovery program. For example, the connection with my higher power. Or simply finding a higher power. Or finding a sponsor to guide me through the steps. Or simply working through the 12 steps. But no one seemed to be shouting from the rooftops that absolute abstinence from drugs and alcohol was the number one priority. But I quickly figured out that it was. I figured this out by watching others relapse in early recovery.

When I was first introduced to the twelve steps, I could not believe that the first one did not say something like: “Do not use drugs or alcohol no matter what.” This seemed like a very reasonable first step to me. So, without consciously realizing it at the time, I made it into my own first step. Not using drugs and alcohol became my own personal policy. As evidenced by the last seven years of my sobriety, this strategy has worked out extremely well for me.

The Zero Tolerance Policy

This is a powerful concept. The zero tolerance policy is simply a pact that you make with yourself. It allows no room for screw-ups, and it always includes the clause “no matter what.” I will not drink or use drugs no matter what. I am going to exercise every single day no matter what. Here is how to make the zero tolerance policy work for you:

1) Figure out what you want - you have to think long and hard about what you truly want in life before you make this pact with yourself. For example, I had to really prepare myself when I decided to quit smoking cigarettes. This is because the strength of your initial decision is meaningless, and it is only the strength of the underlying commitment that matters. I had to work out all the reasons that I wanted to quit smoking, and I had to want it very badly. If you start second guessing your goals and what exactly you want, then your zero tolerance policy won’t be very effective. Figure out what you are aiming for and then create a firm resolve within yourself to achieve it.

2) Be firm with yourself and stay positive - in order for this zero tolerance policy to work, you have to stay positive. This can be tricky, especially when using it to overcome an addiction. You might feel like you are denying yourself from, say, the pleasure of smoking cigarettes, so it is very difficult to stay positive when going through withdrawal. In situations like this, the moment of a destructive relapse is always preceded by a snap decision where the person says “screw it.” There is a shift in attitude. The zero tolerance policy gets thrown out the window and the person decides to smoke again. The whole key to making the zero tolerance policy work is that you must not allow yourself to flip your attitude like this. You must stay positive.

Conquering addiction
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Remember why you are doing this (see “Figure out what you want”) and don’t allow yourself to become negative. I distinctly remember going through this exact same mental battle when I finally quit smoking cigarettes for good. I had to force myself to remain positive. I had to force myself to not let my attitude slip into the negative. I did this by the skin of my teeth, only by reminding myself of how badly I wanted to quit smoking. I had to remember all those reasons that I had worked out back when I had sat down to figure out what I really wanted.

Conquer Your Addictions

1) Figure out what you want - and then state it in positive terms. Don’t just say “I want to quit drinking.” Instead, say “I want to live a sober life. I want to be sober and have meaningful relationships again” or something like that. Figure out what you want and then want it more than anything else. Make sure you want it more than anything else.

2) Create the zero tolerance policy with yourself. Make a pact. Say “I’m going to do this, no matter what. And, I’m going to remain positive. I will not allow my attitude to shift. I will not say “screw it.” I will not allow myself to become negative.

3) Follow through with it. When the going gets tough, remember why you are doing it. Focus on what you want. Focus on the positive benefits of it. Don’t allow yourself to be negative.

Don’t pick up no matter what!