Photo by gtrwndr87 and radiant guy
This is the second part in a series. If you read the first part, “The Secret of Overcoming Addiction and Alcoholism,” then you know that the real secret to long term sobriety is through a spiritual experience.
It’s easy to talk about spiritual matters, because the term is so broadly defined. In order to make this discussion useful, however, we need to get more specific.
The term “spiritual” becomes useful when we break it down into specific actions and behaviors. The spiritual experience is characterized by 2 things:
1) A complete change in personality, and
2) A connection with a higher power.
A complete change in personality
The typical drug addict or alcoholic is self seeking and self centered when it comes to medicating themselves with drugs and alcohol. Although they might genuinely care for other people, their addiction causes their personality to shift, and their chemical use becomes their main priority in life. This leads to extreme self-centeredness.
The complete change in personality that results from a spiritual experience leads us away from this self-centeredness towards a genuine interest in other recovering addicts. Medicating ourselves becomes less and less important each day, and the relationships in our lives become more important.
This change in personality doesn’t happen overnight. You have to start living recovery. To many people, that means involvement in a twelve step program and the association with the fellowship. This is an excellent route to go, because it puts you in direct connect with other recovering addicts and alcoholics. Relating your experiences with these people is a huge key. So is working with them and helping them when you can.
A big part of the personality shift is in the idea of giving back; of helping others. This is a critical component. Without it, you probably won’t achieve a lasting and quality sobriety. Twelve step programs are convenient because they afford you such a great opportunity to give back and to help others, though a spiritual experience can certainly occur without them.
Forming a connection with a higher power
Most people walking into recovery don’t have a strong connection with a higher power. I know that I personally did not, and so I started seeking it immediately.
1) Exploring Different Belief Systems
I immediately started what I viewed as a “spiritual journey.” At the time–for me–this consisted of reading books. I read the New Testament, and the Tao Te Ching. I also read a number of books about Zen Bhuddism.
I was seeking. This wasn’t necessarily a good thing, or a bad thing, it’s just where I was at the time. I was looking for something. I don’t necessarily think this was necessary, but I don’t regret doing it. I learned a lot of spiritual principles (but I would have been led to them anyway).
The 12 steps are a clear path to a spiritual awakening. But some might want to explore outside of AA dogma. Luckily, the fellowship generally encourages this. However, looking back, I don’t think it is necessary. Why not?
Because they are all the same path. We are all on the same journey, all headed for the same destination. Some are further along than others. But I had to seek for a year or two, to see what was out there, and draw all of the parallels. I saw enough parallels between different belief systems that I decided that they are all the same path.
Some might disagree with this. That’s alright–that person is on the path too. It’s not about being right when it comes to spiritual growth. It’s really all about the growth itself!
What’s really important is that I took a suggestion early on to start praying every day. That consistent practice has made a much bigger difference than all of my seeking and book reading that I did.
Helpful Takeaway: Make a habit of praying daily. Seek if you must, but don’t force yourself. Enjoy the journey. And pray.
2) Helping Others and the Loss of Self-Centeredness
This is a huge part of having a “spiritual awakening.” I was lucky to be introduced to AA and the twelve step fellowship, because through it, I was able to start helping others. Instead of obsessively focusing on getting my next drink or drug, I became genuinely interested in other people’s sobriety. This wasn’t something that I did intentionally. It just happened as a result of living in a long term treatment center, taking suggestions from others, and working with others in recovery.
Helpful Takeaway: Be helpful. Reach out to others in recovery. Notice when your obsession with drugs and alcohol slips away and be grateful for it.
Slowly transforming into a different person
So the spiritual experience is achieved through a connection with a higher power and a genuine interest in helping others. But this doesn’t happen overnight….recovery takes time. We can’t just decide to recover overnight and suddenly turn into this super-spiritual being. Anything that happens quickly is bound to be fleeting. It takes time to build up a solid foundation of recovery.
Recognize that recovery from addiction takes time and enjoy the journey. Stay on the path, and constantly evaluate the path. Always be growing, push yourself not to stagnate. Look back and see the tremendous progress you’ve made. Remember where you came from, and the obsession and self-centeredness that your life used to be. See how much you’ve changed and let that be a tremendous source of gratitude. Know that you are blessed as you continue to stay sober. So many others do not make it!
Some addicts and alcoholics achieve this spiritual experience, only to relapse at some point in the future.
How can we achieve long term sobriety?
Check back next week when I dissect the specific requirements needed to achieve a long lasting recovery. Make sure you subscribe via RSS or sign up for email updates if you don’t want to miss it.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Does a “spiritual experience” necessarily mean a religious experience? While believing in some sort of vague “higher power” is probably helpful, I find it odd to assume that one mustn’t be an atheist if one is going to recover from an addiction.
Good question, Adam. This gets discussed every day in twelve step meetings. It is an age old debate that will probably never completely die or go away.
There are certainly atheists out there who are living a recovery program. There are probably a couple of examples:
1) The atheist who believes in “the universe” as their HP. They might not actually “pray” to the universe, but they still work the steps and they still find a meaningful recovery.
2) Those who believe in “nature” as their HP (similar to some Native Americans).
3) Those who completely dismiss the possibility of a HP.
The term “spiritual experience” is vague and undefined. We define it only for ourselves. For some, spirituality is feeling connected with nature, for others, it might be a growing sense of wisdom as they learn from the connection with their peers. Still others might kneel and pray in a church and claim a spiritual experience.
In the strictest, most practical terms, a spiritual experience must be a sufficient replacement strategy for overcoming addiction. It has to be something sustainable, that integrates into one’s life, at approximately the same level that drugs and alcohol once did.
Thank you so much for the comment, Adam. I will definitely be exploring this theme further in my writing.